i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
