During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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