So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
