3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
