At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize