I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
