She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
