3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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