No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
