new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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