Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he thought i was a dude.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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