I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
