That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
