I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
