I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
