I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I wish i was in the wii world.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i out mim tonsoeep
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
