just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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