i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My cat gives me a boner
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
