Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
