I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
