Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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