Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
