but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You pole danced in your parka.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
