The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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