The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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