what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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