I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
