yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
