I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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