i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
