The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
