We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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