The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
