But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
