you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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