Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
