my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
