dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize