I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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