i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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