10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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