Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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