No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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