I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
