just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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