Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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