soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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