I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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