Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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