We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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