I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
