its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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