Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
