did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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