Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
