I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
