I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
