i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
