Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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