so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
