what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
