So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
