Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
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