I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
