Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
